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| "Human relationships didn't work anyhow. Only the first two weeks had any zing, then the participants lost their interest." - Charles Bukowski
I don't know why I chase those that aren't interested in me. Maybe I like the challenge? I have a handful of guys giving me more than my needed amount of attention, yet I could care less.
It's as if I fight to get what I want, but when I get it, it doesn't even feel like a reward. The rewarding part were the challenges I had to face to get there. The emotions I felt. The fear, the excitement, the arousal. That's what made me feel alive. That's what made me want to keep going.
I've realized I don't like the feeling of boredom. And what fun is it to have whatever you want handed to you on a silver platter. That's too boring.
As much as I say that I would rather play it safe, part of me wants to feel. Part of me wants pains. Part of me wants to know that I'm taking risk like everyone else. That I'm living my life.
But here is the kicker. When things don't turn out how I want them, I am devastated. I feel like the world has come crashing down on me. I beat myself up continuously. I tell my self I will never take this risk again because I'm not going to let myself feel this pain again.
I'm overly sensitive. I'm suicidal yet content. I am a cocktail of emotions. This makes my life a living hell. | | |
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so think 2x about what you say to me
and you better fuckin mean it
" to even think that you could be anything to me ... was your most ignorent failure" | | |
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i want to give up on school
im just not focused enough
blah
i just want to paint, and make music, and write and paint
create things
because they are my only passions
and maybe just the only things that will keep me sane
egh
im going nuts just sitting at home
with no human interaction
its killing me
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| Sorry but you can't turn in late assignments.
Please get ready for you SAM PowerPoint Exam.(Practicing the Pre-test
and Training) You missed the Windows XP Exam so you need to do well on
your PowerPoint Exam. You still can turn in 5 PowerPoint assignments
including the exam. If you can get those in, I will not consider
dropping you from the course. I would be glad to meet with you on
campus if you need help with powerpoint.
Prof. Cuppy
In message 1217 on Friday, February 16, 2007 9:39am, BRENDA
GUTIERREZ writes: >I know you don't accept late assignments, but
I've had the stomach flu >since Monday, and I just started feeling
better today. I know I missed >several assignments, I'm not sure if
I can re-do them, or atleast not >get dropped from the class?
im wayyyyyyyyyyyyy behind and if i get dropped from this course, well i can forget about going to college next semester. fudge
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gahhhhhhhhh, i keep getting outbid on this keyboard i would kill to have
i havent played music in like 5 months and its KILLING me
>
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